Posted June 21, 2024

Father’s Day is a national holiday celebrated in June. This celebration of “Dads” got started more than 50 years after Mother’s Day was established. Grandfathers, uncles, and other men in the “village” who take on parenting roles are also honored on this day. This is a time set aside when families show appreciation for Fathers, Fatherhood, and paternal bonds. There are certainly single parent homes led by devoted Fathers, even though our society tends to look at nurturing and loving fiercely as maternal characteristics. Fathers are less likely to come to mind regarding these instincts. Provider, Protector, and perhaps Disciplinarian are the Father’s “lanes.” This view of Fatherhood didn’t only begin in contemporary times. Very soon after we read about the first recorded Father-son relationship (God and Adam), we see an example of relying on “reason” to interfere with natural affection between a Father and a son.

In the Book of Genesis, God created Adam, His earthly son, in His image, as His own, “from the dust of the ground....He breathed into him the breath of life (Genesis 2:7). God spent Father-son time with Adam. He was Adam’s parent. God talked to Adam about the food he could eat and could not eat. He was concerned that Adam should not be alone, that Adam should have a companion. God and Adam were together when He let Adam name all the animals and birds He created: “whatever Adam called each creature, that was its name” (Genesis 2:19). Doesn’t this sound like a loving, nurturing, caring Father-son relationship? God is love. Certainly God loved Adam.

Further into the Book of Genesis, when we look at Abraham, Sarah, Ishmael and Isaac, we uncover a perspective that may also be witnessed within family dynamics today, especially in “blended” families. In this story, we learn about God’s covenant promise to Abraham, that he will be the Father of many nations. Abraham’s wife Sarah, in her old age, has the idea to “help” God with His plan to give them a son. She persuades Abraham to let Hagar her handmaid have a child, to be their promised child. Abraham agrees (Genesis 16:1-4).

Surely Abraham had a relationship with this son, his own flesh and blood, his only son at the time. Surely Abraham spent time alone with his son Ishmael. Surely they shared Father-son moments together, shared teaching-learning time together. Surely there were times when Abraham hugged Ishmael, laughed with him, comforted him. Surely Abraham loved Ishmael.

Later, Sarah gives birth to Isaac, the child of promise God had prophesied to them. She watches him grow up and grow close to Abraham. It was during the feast to celebrate Isaac’s circumcision, that things changed: “Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking [her son], and she said to Abraham, Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac ” (Genesis 21:9-10).

Sarah’s good intentions, her interventions to “help” God with His plan, have backfired. She now begins to feel threatened and insecure. We see Sarah make her demands: she asks Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away. Her insecurity demonstrates no regard, no empathy for the Father-son relationship between Abraham and Ishmael. She expects Abraham to easily abandon Ishmael and never look back, as though Abraham could not have had true paternal or emotional ties with Ishmael. The bible says, “the matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son” (Genesis 21:11). But God had a plan....

Do we sometimes underestimate the love, the concern, the goodwill, that Fathers have toward their children? Are we sold on what the media and social media feed us as the norm about Fathers, unfairly labeling some child’s Father? Are we guilty of assuming that unwed Fathers don’t want the responsibility of being in their children’s lives? Do we discourage Fathers from being a part of their lives and, instead, reward single mothers with entitlements if the Father is not in the home, absent during nurturing, formative years? Do we forget they Both need encouragement and re-direction to move forward as parents?

With one selfish request, Sarah chose to disregard Abraham’s heart for his son Ishmael. The bible teaches us to "renew our mind" and let go of what does not uplift one another. This Father's Day, let's do just that. Indeed, Dad Lives Matter, too!